Remembering something God asked me

A few years ago, about 2ish, I remember I was in Beth Moore study, and in the video, she asked to think of something really hard might happen. And then how it would be?
This morning I was starting to unload dishwasher and remembered. How what I thought or worried would happen did. It was awful, really painful, and not all my fault, but saw the writing for about a yr plus happen. And even my husband thought it would.
It took some time to get over, and still not completely there totally, but moving forward.
I think I was afraid what would happen, what would I do. And not totally sure it was God's plan at all, but I think in a way God was preparing me for it. I wonder if I had asked a couple of people to pray with me if things at least on my part would have been different.
It's been a rough 6 yrs since moving to westside. not what we thought at all. But been what it has been.
Now 6 yrs later, things are different. God leads us into these prison like times, yuck. Not just for us but others. Been trying to work on forgiving those that hurt me, and not expecting any apologizing at all.
Things happen, see how friends are, see that people are not friends, shun you. Oh well.
It has been hard, alot of tears, alot of praying and alot of just waiting.
Now homeschooling again, and see what God is doing. I guess right now in my life, God is wanting to trust in the road He leads, not big picture, but little picture, maybe a little ahead, but not much.

Young child at our age

This week we will celebrate Seth coming to us. What an adventure and harder at our age. But also a blessing. A week after we got him, our first grandchild was born. Busy week plus.
I find at being 47, when most women are working, kids almost or grown, I am at home. I am glad and thankful to be at home. Plus I can watch one grandchild and be part of her life. I can have other grandkids come. I also am free to go visit them.
I am going to homeschool Seth, menapause, and homeschooling- wow.
But you know women my age are busy, cause their kids need them less. I find it hard to find women closer to my age free to visit with.
I know there are times when I get with people my age, I sorta don't feel I fit in. Cause I have grown children, grandchildren and 5 yr old.
It is weird.
God knows what He is doing even though I don't have a clue.
I love my kids and grandkids, I love being able to stay home.
I just wish I had fellowship with other women. Gets lonely during the day not having other women to talk to.
I have had a hard time with this menopause too. Just part of being a woman, not fun.
I sometimes wonder if God will move us like He said 2 yrs ago.
After this week, I hope into a house with central air that really works.
But then I think, a lot of people didn't have power. And we had some, at least could sleep well.
I think even though there is stuff I cry out to God for, I think in other ways we are blessed.
I sit back and wonder what God is doing, and I try to do my best.
One step at a time, sometimes one moment at a time.
Continue praying for what curriculum for Seth. Didn't think I would be homeschooling again, hey following God is not what we want but what He wants.